New Year's Eve, I found myself hanging out at my buddy Kim's house. It was around 1:00 PM, and she was telling me how one of the couples in her last class (which I attended) was in labor, and called her very early that morning to talk through some stuff. In the middle of our gossip session, my phone rang - to my surprise, it was the daddy of the couple we were discussing! Our conversation went something like this:
Dad: Well, we're in labor, and have been for a long time...
Me: How are things going?
Dad: Honestly, I'm not sure... I mean, we've been here since Wednesday, and [Mom] is having a hard time managing her pain."
Me: How are YOU holding up?
Dad: I'm exhausted. All of us are.
Me: Do you need some help?
Dad: [big sigh of relief] I would be grateful for anything you could offer us.
Me: I've gotta run home and get my bag, but give me 20 minutes and I'll be there. What's your room number?
(Mom told me later after the birth, "That was the shortest phone conversation I'd ever heard.")
When I got there everyone looked deflated, and the room was in chaos, stuff was everywhere. How could anyone be comfortable laboring in this environment? I thought to myself. While I helped clean up, I explained that we had a plane to catch to go to my cousin's wedding in another state, and I would stay as long as I could, but I might not be able to be there for the birth. They said it was okay, and any help was better than none!
I immediately started the work of assessing the situation; mom, dad and baby's grandmother filled me in on what I'd missed. At 41 weeks and 2 days, mom went to an appointment with her OB and never got to go home. She was admitted for oligohydramnios (based on an AFI of 4.5), induced with Cervidil (which was removed after she reached 4 cm), membranes released (SROM) at around 5:30 AM that day, and she'd been laboring for around 24 hours without any other medical interventions. The Cervidil induction was painful and frightening, and mom was happy to have it removed - but since that time, her contraction patterns were sketchy, and her tone and demeanor were like that of a woman condemned to Sisyphus' fate. "I feel like it's never going to end," she confessed.
I got mom out of the bed; dad fell into it and immediately went to sleep. Baby's grandmother went out, brought back food for the family, and went home to get some rest.
After some dinner, mom seemed to be getting her energy back, so I started to pep talk her, during which we changed positions, tracked contractions together, and focused on approaching labor one rush at a time. I knew she was still in early labor because she was able to talk easily between her contractions. Every time a contraction was nearing or had ended, she would affirm, "Contractions are good..." And I would reply, "Contractions make a baby come out," or, "Contractions go away and then we can rest." As we talked, it became clear that the intensity of her pain was due to her fear of that pain, and her feelings of inadequacy about herself as a laboring mother.
When dad woke, he was amazed by the change that had come over his wife. "You're a new woman," he said, and hugged and kissed her.
The hospital experience was a mixed bag; while the majority of the attending staff was supportive of their decisions (to varying degrees of approval and disapproving forbearance, though mostly the former), interruptions easily knocked mom out of her labor, and slowed her contractions. At one point, during a heavy discussion with the attending OB, her solid 1:00-1:30-minute / every 3 minutes contractions stopped altogether for 20 minutes. An encouraging nurse recommended that we try nipple stimulation, which helped get her back into the groove of labor, but mom would stop doing stimulation cycles (2 minutes on, 2 minutes rest with a contraction in between) and labor would slow again. Dad mustered himself long enough to convince the attending OB to get her off of continuous EFM, which he felt was interfering with her ability to relax and wasn't proving helpful (baby had a textbook perfect heart rate for the entire labor). After his confrontation with the doctor, his physical exhaustion and emotional stress got the better of him, and he was a little shaky. But the pay off was time in the tub, free from monitoring.
16 hours later, it was time for me to go. I felt terrible about it, but they were very understanding. Before I left, mom decided to try a small dose pain medication, but it was largely ineffective, so she asked to be prepped for an epidural. (For the second time, I missed a potential opportunity to witness an epidural being placed! Drat.) Even though this family was seeking an unmedicated birth, after 32 hours of labor, mom was just too tired to manage labor sensations anymore.
Baby's grandmother arrived a little while after I had to go, and 12 hours later, mom birthed her baby - vaginally!! Interestingly, they set her up with an push button epidural; she was able to chose when to have the next dose of the medicine, and she hit the button only once after the initial dose. She later told me that the rest she got during the first dose helped a lot, and then after that just having the option of pain relief was comforting.
All's well that ends well. Baby had 1/5 minute Apgars of 8/9, mom had minimal tearing (not even a 1st degree), and they're breastfeeding really well. Three days after the baby was born, they moved to another city so dad could start a new job - I wish them all the best on their new adventure, and thank them for letting me share in their happy day. (-:
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