Flipping channels, I came across a show about some famous socialite named Kendra. I have no idea who this person is, and I really don't care - then, before I clicked to the next channel, I notice that this woman, Kendra, is in the hospital, and obviously pregnant. Like a train wreck, I couldn't look away as I watched the program's presentation of her labor, watched her lie in bed for 24 hours with Pitocin and an epidural, only to end up with a c-section.
Smiling doctor telling her the day before she was induced, "We've given her something to help her get some rest, since she'll have a big day tomorrow..." Every time marker in the footage, she's still lying in bed, in the same position... Smiling doctor reappearing at the 23 hour mark, saying "You've been a trooper, and baby looks fine on the monitors, but it's time to go have a baby..." Wheeling her to the OR five hours after that... Kendra saying, "9 pounds, 5 ounces, no wonder I needed a c-section!..."
I get so angry, sometimes, the way the medical system can manipulate parents into doing things their way. The calm, rational part of me reminds me that this is an example of parents who's birth experience was peripheral to the fact that a baby was born. I understand, and I respect that. But... I feels a deep sadness for the lost and beautiful experience they missed out on.
To bring myself back to a happy place, I came across news that Gisele Bundchen had her baby at home in the water. (-:
Showing posts with label cage days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cage days. Show all posts
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Friday, November 6, 2009
Baby...wise?
Woman to Woman Childbirth Education recent posted about the book Babywise, and offered us this attachment parenting article entitled Babywise Advice Linked to Dehydration, Failure to Thrive. The writers of the Babywise book, however, believe that the needs of a child, in infancy and beyond, should be determined by the parent and not the child.
Last week, a coworker (at my 9-to-5 job) expressed that "babies can be easily spoiled" by too much holding and feeding, and then urged me to warn all my clients about the dangers thereof! I confess, I momentarily lost my usual cool. I stamped my foot (yes, I did, it's a shame but it happened), and stuck a finger in her direction while I proclaimed, "That is NOT a statement founded in sound research, and I can send you at least five resources based in science that say otherwise!"
I'm a little ashamed because as a doula, it's my job to discern when it's the right time to share information with others, and to communicate good information about childbearing/rearing, not sling it at people whom I feel are being willfully ignorant and/or rude. Two wrongs don't make a right!
There's a forum post floating around out in cyberspace somewhere that I can't put my fingers on which sums-up my feelings perfectly - a doula expressed how she chose her words poorly back in her "cage days" of being a new doula, armed with information and angry like a tiger being poked with a stick through cage bars. I feel that way some days, too. It's not that my coworker's chosen parenting style was bad - I'm just irked when people feel compelled to push their choices on others through unsolicited advice.
I can understand why Babywise might seem like a viable option for some. I'm sure the Ezzos, who wrote Babywise, aren't trying to hurt families. This parenting style most likely worked for them, and they just want to pass it along. The parenting choices of my coworker that are so similar to the Babywise method may seem strange to me, but it worked for her and her family.
It can be a struggle as a new parent to being home a baby who can't communicate with you by any other means than crying, and who's little body demands food, sleep and alertness in no discernible pattern. Ultimately, the parenting choices that help everyone in the family adjust and grow in the healthiest way are the best choices.
Last week, a coworker (at my 9-to-5 job) expressed that "babies can be easily spoiled" by too much holding and feeding, and then urged me to warn all my clients about the dangers thereof! I confess, I momentarily lost my usual cool. I stamped my foot (yes, I did, it's a shame but it happened), and stuck a finger in her direction while I proclaimed, "That is NOT a statement founded in sound research, and I can send you at least five resources based in science that say otherwise!"
I'm a little ashamed because as a doula, it's my job to discern when it's the right time to share information with others, and to communicate good information about childbearing/rearing, not sling it at people whom I feel are being willfully ignorant and/or rude. Two wrongs don't make a right!
There's a forum post floating around out in cyberspace somewhere that I can't put my fingers on which sums-up my feelings perfectly - a doula expressed how she chose her words poorly back in her "cage days" of being a new doula, armed with information and angry like a tiger being poked with a stick through cage bars. I feel that way some days, too. It's not that my coworker's chosen parenting style was bad - I'm just irked when people feel compelled to push their choices on others through unsolicited advice.
I can understand why Babywise might seem like a viable option for some. I'm sure the Ezzos, who wrote Babywise, aren't trying to hurt families. This parenting style most likely worked for them, and they just want to pass it along. The parenting choices of my coworker that are so similar to the Babywise method may seem strange to me, but it worked for her and her family.
It can be a struggle as a new parent to being home a baby who can't communicate with you by any other means than crying, and who's little body demands food, sleep and alertness in no discernible pattern. Ultimately, the parenting choices that help everyone in the family adjust and grow in the healthiest way are the best choices.
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