Waiting for the lights to change

This morning, on my way to work, a traffic light right before the interstate exchange turned yellow, then red. I slowed to a stop, and watched the cars flow through the intersection. Then, an unusual thought crossed my mind: What do I do when stopped at a light?

My usual behavior at lights is to watch for signs that my light will be turning green. Cross-walk signals are good indicators; one can usually see the cross-walk when it starts to blink and count-down the remaining walk time for pedestrians. On streets lacking cross-walks, sometimes the light for the opposing traffic is peripherally visible.

I think this is a way to pass the time. Having something to do while I wait is a benefit; my mind prefers to be engaged. Also, I'm proactive about remaining consciously aware at lights, because I don't want to be that person who "zones-out" and doesn't realize that the light has turned green and it's time to go again. My immediate opinion about this behavior is, I just think it's more responsible to be alert in that situation.

One thing I noticed while I was waiting and watching is the physical effect of this activity. There's a definite feeling of anticipation, followed by a surge of tingles when I've received some indicator of the impending light change; finally, I feel a release of tension when the light is green.

As I drove forward, I contemplated this observance. Pause-surge-release is a repeating pattern in other places in my life. I could see it in stress reactions I've experienced in the past. And in conversations: I listen; there's a build-up of words in my mind as I processed what I'm hearing; then, at the appropriate time, I speak those words.

There's also a parallel, here, with watching the ocean's tide, an activity I find mesmerizing. Sitting on the beach while the waves roll in and out again is so relaxing for me. It also puts me into a state like hypnosis.

Watching a woman labor, I see pause-surge-release. There's a moment when her body, after resting, pauses its movement; then her body language shows me the first grip of her contraction, which builds and peaks; finally, the squeeze releases and she rests again.

This reminds me of the Hypnobabies tracks - the hypnotherapist says something along the lines of, We slip into self-hypnosis all the time, like when we're driving home on 'auto-pilot' and thinking about other things as we do so. In true multi-tasking fashion, I have experienced instances when I've 'awoken' from my drive hypnosis to realize that I'm watching for light change signals. That behavior has become part of my drive process.

The more I think about it, the more drawn toward hypnosis for childbirth I become.