Exploring Your Options

Our friendly, neighborhood Birth Activist blogged recently about how some future moms tell themselves (or are told, in many cases) that, at the end of labor, the manner of birth is not as important as having a healthy baby in arms. She goes on to make an analogy about how planning for big events allows us to reap the best from the event. (It's a good read, go check it out.)

Telling oneself or a new mom, "At least you have a healthy baby," is a sticky thing. Yes, the desired result for anyone who chooses to give birth is for a baby with all the appropriate working parts. But that's only one part of the equation. If mom births a healthy baby but her care provider convinced her to have an intervention she felt was unnecessary or that she feels she was coerced into, how will that affect her interaction with care providers in the future? How will the experience shape her ideas about birth and about herself as a mother?

Using the compass rose as a model, imagine that each cardinal direction represents the four major parts of our human experience: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Bearing a child is an intense experience which shapes all of these aspects of ourselves. The body changes; the mind is challenged to make decisions for the benefit of a new being; emotions are finely-tuned and sensitive. And birth can be influential to those for whom spirituality is an important part of life.

Planning means exploring one's options. Families have choices in childbirth. They can pick where they give birth, who will attend them, what interventions (if any) are acceptable. The design of a birth experience is farther reaching than just the day a baby emerges from its mother's body; birth is a touchstone experience, and can shape our ideas about what life is and means in a long term way.

In childbirth, there's a balance to be achieved between what can and cannot be planned. Sometimes the way things turn out doesn't match the hopes or expectations of the family - and even if the birth was its absolute ideal, often moms feel that their lives are in upheaval from the act of bringing life into the world. Being at peace with a birth experience can take time; it is an act of respect to be gentle with a mother while she processes her experience.

For more information and different approaches to crafting a birth plan:

• Melissa @ the Bradley Babies blog, Tips for Creating a Birth Plan, part 1 & part 2
• Chapter 17 in Pam England's book, Birthing From Within
• Janine DeBaise's Birth Plan (published by Midwifery Today)
• Christine Kane's guide to building a vision board
• Birth plan tips from an (awesome and supportive) L&D nurse, part 1 & part 2