Baby...wise?

Woman to Woman Childbirth Education recent posted about the book Babywise, and offered us this attachment parenting article entitled Babywise Advice Linked to Dehydration, Failure to Thrive. The writers of the Babywise book, however, believe that the needs of a child, in infancy and beyond, should be determined by the parent and not the child.

Last week, a coworker (at my 9-to-5 job) expressed that "babies can be easily spoiled" by too much holding and feeding, and then urged me to warn all my clients about the dangers thereof! I confess, I momentarily lost my usual cool. I stamped my foot (yes, I did, it's a shame but it happened), and stuck a finger in her direction while I proclaimed, "That is NOT a statement founded in sound research, and I can send you at least five resources based in science that say otherwise!"

I'm a little ashamed because as a doula, it's my job to discern when it's the right time to share information with others, and to communicate good information about childbearing/rearing, not sling it at people whom I feel are being willfully ignorant and/or rude. Two wrongs don't make a right!

There's a forum post floating around out in cyberspace somewhere that I can't put my fingers on which sums-up my feelings perfectly - a doula expressed how she chose her words poorly back in her "cage days" of being a new doula, armed with information and angry like a tiger being poked with a stick through cage bars. I feel that way some days, too. It's not that my coworker's chosen parenting style was bad - I'm just irked when people feel compelled to push their choices on others through unsolicited advice.

I can understand why Babywise might seem like a viable option for some. I'm sure the Ezzos, who wrote Babywise, aren't trying to hurt families. This parenting style most likely worked for them, and they just want to pass it along. The parenting choices of my coworker that are so similar to the Babywise method may seem strange to me, but it worked for her and her family.

It can be a struggle as a new parent to being home a baby who can't communicate with you by any other means than crying, and who's little body demands food, sleep and alertness in no discernible pattern. Ultimately, the parenting choices that help everyone in the family adjust and grow in the healthiest way are the best choices.